


The Whole Truth

by goldbooksblack



Category: Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M, Future AU, Oral Sex, Pregnancy Talk, married au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-08-20 02:47:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20220529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldbooksblack/pseuds/goldbooksblack
Summary: "I've been off birth control for the past week and a half, and I'm supposed to be ovulating, so if we do it now I have a good chance of getting pregnant."Nikolai stared at her. “Zoya?”Nikolai and Zoya have a talk about having children.





	The Whole Truth

"I've been off birth control for the past week and a half, and I'm supposed to be ovulating, so if we do it now I have a good chance of getting pregnant."

Nikolai stared at her. “Zoya?” His wife wore a nearly sheer gray nightgown, skimming her breasts on the top and her upper thighs on the bottom. 

She looked at him as if he was the one who had said something strange. “Was I not clear?”

“Zoya, where is this coming from?”

“Nikolai, we’ve been married two years. The court is antsy. Our allies are antsy. Our enemies are looking to see what we’re going to do. Or waiting for an internal coup, which, at this rate, is also looking quite likely—”

“—Nazyalensky, I don’t give a shit about our court, our allies, or our enemies.” He stands and cups her face in his hands before letting them slide down to the back of her head. Nikolai watches as a small shiver runs through her. “What is this really about?”

“It’s about what I just said.”

“Is it? Is that the whole truth?”

Her sapphire blue eyes stared defiantly into his. “It is.” 

“A better question, then. Do you want children?” 

“It doesn’t matter what I want.”

“Ah,” he said softly, his forehead coming forward to touch hers. “There it is.”

“There what is?”

“The whole truth.”

“Can you cut the theatrics, Nikolai? I can feel myself becoming more frigid by the second.”

His lips crashed against hers. Zoya’s lips parted eagerly for his tongue, warm and inviting. Nikolai’s hands tangled in her dark hair as she pulled at the strings of his shirt, nails scratching down his bare chest. She gasped as he raised her into his arms, carrying her to the silken sheets of their bed. 

Nikolai kissed and bit his way down her neck, leaving blooming bruises in his wake. He took one of her breasts in his grip and sucked, his teeth closing down on her nipple. Zoya let out a cry, fingers scratching against his scalp. Nikolai lavished the same attention on her other breast before moving to the junction of her thighs. 

When he dragged his tongue from the base of her folds to her clitoris, she rose up from the bed, keening, her fingers gripping fistfuls of his hair. The king laughed, the vibrations running against Zoya’s tan skin. Nikolai’s nails dug into the soft flesh of her thighs as he held them apart. Dizzying gasps escaped from the queen’s lips as he plunged his tongue between her folds, teasing at her entrance. A cry stuck to the back of Zoya’s throat, choked by a gasp. 

With his lips still closed around her clitoris, Nikolai pushed two fingers inside her. His other hand stroked up Zoya’s body until it reached her lips. She moaned as she took his thumb inside her mouth, hips struggling to stay on the bed as her pleasure built. 

“Oh, Zoya . . .” Her husband murmured. She responded with a small whimper. Nikolai stroked a third finger against her. “Zoya . . .”

“Please,” she gasped. “Nikolai—”

Zoya let out a choked moan as Nikolai thrust a third finger inside her, his mouth making its way up to bite at her clitoris. Her nails scraped down Nikolai’s pale back as she came, his name escaping from her lips in a muted scream. 

Zoya was still panting when Nikolai planted a soft kiss on her lips and buried his nose into her hair. But just as he was about to speak, he felt a wandering touch between his legs. Nikolai reached down and gripped Zoya’s hands, preventing her from unlacing his pants. “Zoya, stop.” 

Her eyes narrowed. Evidently she hadn’t the conversation they’d been in the middle of before Nikolai had went down on her. “Nikolai.”

He pressed a kiss to her neck before telling her, “I’m not going to have sex with you tonight.”

Zoya sat up on her elbows immediately. _ “What?” _

“Zoya—”

“—don’t ‘Zoya’ me,” she was seething now, Nikolai could see it. She sat up fully, post-orgasm glow all forgotten. “Are you mad?”

“If anything, I’m less mad than you. Zoya,” he grabbed ahold of her shoulders. She scowled and tried to tug herself away, but he held firm. “You don’t want children.”

Zoya glared at him. “Stop it.”

“You don’t want children and you never have. I knew it when we wed, and I know it now.”

“And like I said before, it doesn’t matter what I want.” She tore herself out of his grasp, crossing her arms over her chest. “We have enemies on all sides. Probably ensconced in our own palace as well! Why are you not thinking of the fact that the easiest way to get rid of them, get rid of the plotting, is to just have an heir?”

“Because I love you, Zoya!” His voice had risen in volume to match hers. Both struggling to make the other see sense.

“That has nothing to do with this—”

“—it has everything to do with this.” He exhaled sharply. “I knew we would have a child someday,” Nikolai said gently. He traced the palm of her hand with his finger. “But not when you’re not ready to have one, Zoya.” He pressed a kiss against her forehead. “I wouldn’t do that to you. I would never hurt you like that.”

“You wouldn’t be hurting me,” desperation crept into her voice. “I’m ready. I’m ready for it.”

“No, Zoya.” 

“Our enemies, Nikolai—”

“—our enemies can wait. We will always have enemies; an heir is unlikely to change that. And you and I—” he cupped her face in his hands. “You and I are young. We have years and years to go.” An unspoken truth hung between them at the end of his sentence, but he pushed the thought away. “We have all the time in the world to make this decision. It doesn’t have to be now.”

Zoya’s body relaxed against his chest, her arms winding around his neck. Nikolai stroked his fingers through her hair. He’d spoken as much of the truth as he could, but what he hadn’t said was that he wished the nights were longer and the days were longer. That there would be more rainy days to spend in bed and more sunny days to go outside. More silent nights to sleep soundly and more raucous nights to spend drinking with friends. Life was as short as the word, and there was only so much space you could put between the four letters to stretch it out. 

Nikolai held his wife until her eyelids fluttered shut, the even cadence of her breaths luring him to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave me a review and tell me what you thought! 
> 
> Check out my Tumblr: [goldbooksblack](https://goldbooksblack.tumblr.com/) for more!


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